goodbye 2009.

wow. that went by so fast.

what an amazing year it's been.

wow.


goodbye to 2009 - you were a great year and you treated me quite well, sending me trials and challanges often, but only because you knew i could handle them.

and hello to 2010 - here's to hopes that you, as well, will be an amazing year and i can continue to grow and learn and be.

happy new year.

deal.

tonight, a deal was made.

normally, this type of deal would be a really hard one for me to make, but knowing that the person on the other side of this deal will be going through the same things as i am makes it... i don't know... easier.

it's like, i don't think i could do this if i was doing this alone. but now, since you're doing it with me, there's a possibility that it will happen.

and ya know, it's kind of freeing.

giving.

sadly, christmas time is usually the time of the year when people are most giving.
it's too bad that it can't happen in such large quantities all year round, but either way, it's so fun to watch and experience.

you'd be amazed at how far a little gift, that may seem worth nothing, will go in bringing joy to the hearts of those that need it.

because it's truely amazing when one person gives to another, not out of sorrow, pity, or obligation, but out of the goodness of their heart.

giving. it is such a beautiful thing.

mess up.

i somehow seem to mess things up.
all. the. time.

i don't know why god put me on this planet.
maybe my purpose is to mess the world up more than it already is.

well then, lovely.
so. much. fun.





not.

vague.

so i guess i can be a little vague at times.

okay extremely vague most of the time.

and i know it annoys some people. heck, it annoys me.

but... i don't know. i can't help it. i feel like there's a point of saying too much and i just don't like going there (even though i sometimes tend to at the TOTALLY wrong moments. ug).

i always feel like i'm hurting people when they want to know things but i sit there and am vague, but

i
just
can't
help
it.

and it drives me just as crazy as it drives you.

forever.

"you realize we're only 15 and we're not going to last forever, right?"

words that really make you think.
i mean, i know we're only 15. and i mean, i know we're not going to last forever, no matter how much i hope, wish, or dream - its just not going to happen.
but sometimes, even though that is kept in mind, i just let myself get to caught up in my hopes, wishes, and dreams, and i think "maybe we will last forever... maybe we'll beat the odds." but, eventually, those hopes, wishes, and dreams crash.
leaving me hopeless, frightened, and depressed because i let my expectations go too far.
don't get me wrong, dreaming, wishing, and hoping are all amazing things that everyone should do... but there's a point... an extreme... where it's just too much and too far.
the more hopes of us being forever that i shove into my heart, the more my heart is going to break when we crash and our "forever" turns into "we're over".
so how do i stop this vicious cycle? how do i get rid of these unhealthy wishes, dreams, and hopes?

i honestly wish i knew.
because as much as you love someone, you also must love yourself, and you must do what's best for you. and i know that these wishes, hopes, and dreams aren't what's best for me.

the hardest thing for me is trying to figure out where i went wrong - where i let myself go too far.
in the beginning, everything was just fine and dandy - as much as i liked him, i didn't think we'd last more than two weeks so i was just being cool with whatever, trying to set myself up so i wouldn't be very heart broken when it ended.
now, nine months has come and gone, and i've realized how deep feelings run. but how long do they last, is my question? because i don't like sitting here waiting to find out. my heart is way past a point where there can even be a hope of it not being shattered after this.

but i guess we'll never know. just like you don't know when your last day on earth will be, you don't know when your last time with somebody is (that is, unless you do something about it in either situation).

isn't not knowing just frustrating?

learn.

so, i promised someone something.
they trusted me, thinking they wouldn't be let down.
but because they're always busy, i am unable to carryout my promise.
so is it my fault that they're being let down?
if i pulled and pulled and pulled to try to carry it out, but it just didn't happen?
and what if i feel let down as well because they wouldn't allow me to carry it out?

if it's my fault... whatever.
maybe i'll just have to stop making promises.

brain.

sometimes, it makes me laugh hysterically that people think they know how i feel. HAHAHAAAAAA! you don't.

people tend to believe they've got me figured out and know exactly what i'm thinking in certain situations.

HAHAHA!

no.

nobody ever knows exactly how i'm thinking. nobody. ever.
because that's the way i want it.
i don't want people to know what i'm thinking.
because sometimes, that just causes more pain, more hurt, and more broken-ness.
so next time you assume you know my thoughts, maybe you and God should have a little chat, because he sure knows.
BOY does he know.

clones.

something i've really been noticing lately is how the adults in a child's life determine some of their likes and dislikes. these adults, in a way, 'brainwash' a child... leaving the child believing the same exact thing they do.

i don't know.
isn't it kind of frustrating?
don't you wish that the child could come up with their own beliefs sometimes?
make their own discoveries?



isn't that all a part of becoming who you are?

just a poem.

you'd never believe she cries herself to sleep
questions and hurts and scars racing through the deep
of her heart and her head
all she wants is to be led

she cries out in tears
wants them to hear her fears
but they'll never know
why her face she hates to show

sobs overtake her body
there's not one reaching out to help - nobody
so when you see her as the tears threaten to fall from her eyes
go ahead - ignore them. say your goodbyes.

life.

life is like straightening your hair...

if you rush through it, you'll make no difference and see no changes.
if you go too slow, you'll end up getting burnt up.
if you go at just the right speed, you'll see the change and beauty.

dance.

some mornings, i wake up and just feel like dancing. it's happy.

some mornings, i actually do wake up and dance. it makes me happy.



i love those mornings.

um.

i really wanted to blog... but i don't really know what to blog about... so i figured i'd just blog about that.

i had a wonderful summer... yay! ;] now my birthday's coming up... ehh.

butt head.

sometimes, i've found that we believe the entire world revolves around us; how we feel, what we want, how things should go for our benifit. i've also found, calling yourself a butt head every once in a while makes you realize that you aren't perfect... you're not even on a pedistal.

it helps me realize that the world does NOT revolve around me... things aren't gonna go the way i want them to go, i'm not gonna get everything i want, and just cuz i feel bad doesn't mean the world's gonna feel bad with me. sometimes it's a harsh realization, but i'm also glad i can realize it. i'm on a horribly distructive path if i never take in a real perspective and realize that life goes on... how am i supposed to live in the real world if i think that just cuz i hurt everyone else is going to or just cuz i'm happy everyone else is going to be happy, or even just because i want this or that, the worlds going to want me to have this or that? i'm not. because that is NOT the way life works. i'm so thankful i've been able to see that.

so here's to calling yourself a butt-head every once in a while...



hey, i think being a butt head is better than being an air head. but that's just me.

dream.

i'm a big believer in dreaming big. i'm one of those "shoot for the stars" people. some may say i'm not really a realist. heck, i say dreaming big IS being REAL. some people say "well... i'd like to pursue singing, but i mean, who really has a chance with getting anywhere with that?" to that i say: this is about YOU. YOUR dreams. it's not about anyone else. it's not about their dreams.

if you don't have dreams, what do you have? nothing. if you go through your life settling on things, are you really gonna be happy? are you really gonna be fulfilling god's purpose in your life? are you going to be satisfied?

i know one thing-god places our dreams and passions in us when we are following and pursuing him. he will open so many doors and show us which ones to go through if we follow and obey him. i don't really worry about my future... because i know that god has it all planned out. i just have to listen to where he's telling me to go, what he's telling me to do, and hey, i've pretty much 'got it made.' i'm not saying it's gonna be easy, but i know, with all my heart, that it'll be worth it.

just some things to consider while thinking about what you want.

jealousy.

it's not something i've really felt for a long time. i used to feel it all the time as a kid. ALL the time. but after a while, it just faded. i realized i didn't need to be jealous. because it is a freaking huge waste of time. but now guess what? the jealousy bug has bit. i absolutely hate feeling jealous. it makes my heart so heavy that it seems unbearable.

so what do you do when you feel jealous? how do you get over the feeling? how do you escape from this trapped feeling? i feel like i can't find a way out. i feel like i don't even know why i'm jealous-i really have no reason to be. but i am. and i wish i could help it... but i don't know if i can.

maybe i'm just over-tired and stressed. maybe i'm emotionally drained and this is the result. or maybe, i'm really, truely jealous.

i guess it's just something i'll have to wait and see.

lost.

i sit here
lost in a world of confusion.
i'm searching for you.
waiting for you to find me.
you led me here.
i lost sight of you.
i can't find you.
i've searched relentlessly.
and still you're no where in sight.
have you noticed?
have you realized i'm not with you?
not behind you?
not following you?
does your heart ache?
like mine aches?
because you, too, can't find me?
i've realized some things.
i've realized the thoughts of my heart.
i know where i stand.
i know how i feel.
i find it hard to function.
i can't focus.
this confusion consumes me.
but i still sit here waiting
praying you'll find me.
dreaming you need me
as much as i need you.

sadness.

a poem i wrote quite a while ago...



and sadness strikes like lightning in a dry, midnight storm.
never saw it coming, but now here you are, watching the fire blaze, wishing it could've been prevented and wondering what you did wrong.

mistakes.

we all make mistakes, right? we go and we mess up... but hey, we're only human. we're gonna mess up, and it's only natural. being forgiving is a great way to be a mistake-maker. (let me explain-that probably sounded contradicting.) i'm not saying that forgiving someone is a mistake. i'm saying that when you forgive someone, you're, in a way, saying that you understand, and you've messed up too. if you sat there being unforgiving of others who've made "worse" mistakes than you, i believe that is a mistake in itself! we have to realize that none of us are perfect. man has fallen away from god. but we must forgive like god forgave us. never cease in forgiving, and just keep pushing through the tough times.

someone once said "if you love something, let it go, and if it comes back, it was meant to be." personally, i hate that quote. to me its kind of like saying "don't forgive this person. if they're meant to be in your life, they'll come crawling back asking for forgiveness." NO! we should be forgiving even before someone appologizes. and we shouldn't be thinking bad thoughts about them before they appologize either! who knows if they will ever appologize... but it's good to just be able to be free and not to be held back by grudges.

now, i'm in no way saying i have even mastered this skill. let me tell you, i have a lot of work to do in this department. but i have an amazing god who i know will be helping me through it.

love.

a little thing i wrote about a year ago... very depressing stage in my life when i didn't believe love was possible.


"i've always loved stories about love. who doesn't? love is something we dream about; something we live for. love is our fantasy; our dream world. but truth be told, searching for love hurts. the thing we always thought of as the cure to all our problems may actually be the cause. think about it- we "love" a cute boy in our middle-school years, after we've gone through years of honestly believeing they had cooties and were from another planet; we "fall in love" during high school and even the beginning of college, if we make it that far; we "find true love" which leads us to marriage. but what of that lasts? how loosely do we use the term "love"? and how do we even find this real, true, authentic love?"


to answer myself, i think that in today's world, the term "love" is used fairly loosely. it really sucks that in the english language we don't really have different words for love like they do in languages such as greek. we'd probably still misuse it, but i think it'd be better than saying "i love propel." then turning around and saying "i love my husband." i also think that we can find this real, true, authentic love by giving it. i'm not nessecarily talking about romantic love, but just love in general. i found the best way to recieve love is just TO love.

i recieved an interesting email today about accepting without judging. it was an amazing story and it really touched me. a great way to show love is doing just that! accepting... how many times to we snicker at the outcast, move (further than we need to) out of the way of someone nobody likes? what if we didn't judge people by what they looked like, but by the content of their heart? and what if we just LOVED people, no matter who they are in society, no matter what they look (or even smell) like, and no matter how different from us they are?


maybe we should take less time trying to be accepted, and just accept people who normally wouldn't be accepted.

shut it.

recently... i've been thinking. yes, thinking. [ouch, you might be thinking... yes. very ouch.] just today, actually, 2 timothy 2:14 was put on my mind... "keep reminding them of these things. warn them before god against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen."

really, to sum up the mess of my brain, i think that this is, in a way, telling us that sometimes we just need to shut it and not instigate an argument. instead of thinking up a come-back to hit our 'foe' with, why not just roll your eyes and let them think what they think instead of creating a huge fight that could tear you apart?

maybe all of us just need a big sign on our foreheads saying "handle with love."


i think it might help us realize we really do need to "handle with love."

choices

sometimes in life, we have to make big choices. plain and simple. sometimes those choices will hurt us, sometimes they'll help us, but either way, they must be made.

i'm facing one of those choices right now. probably won't sound like it to most people, but it is to me. ;] i sprained my ankle at soccer, and now i either have the choice of going to the clinic and having to not play for 6 weeks, or not going and suffering through soccer. i'm still in the process of deciding. one thing i hate about some of these big choices is sometimes you have very little time to make a decision. ick.

may your decision making be easier than mine.

odd...

it's funny... i've had soccer practice all week last week, then this week comes around, and i'm sick on monday, so i go today (tuesday) and i am AMAZINGLY sore! all last week i was fine... now it hurts to move! what's up with that??? huh? ;]

it's been five months?

today, i have been off the 'market', if you will, for five months! what an interesting five months it has been. full of ups and downs... and i've learned so much. not just about my beaux, but also about myself. it's amazing how that works out, isn't it?

one thing i've learned is that i change. a lot. my career dreams change almost daily, favorite song isn't the same for more than two weeks, things i like/dislike can change in an instant, or however long it takes me to forget why i liked/disliked whatever it was.

another thing i've learned is that i look for direction in people... being a girlfriend for the first time, i had no previous experience in how to act, and i didn't want to act like all the love-sick, boy-crazy girls i've seen. so it was really hard for me to get a hang of not acting like just friends, having no one to look up to or follow really.

and finally, i've learned that i have troubles balancing my time with my boyfriend and my best friends... and when you try to make everyone happy like i do, life gets hard. and the choices you make can change your life forever.

sure it's been tough at points, but it's been the best five months of my life.

Sometimes people get bad ideas and make big mistakes... But does that mean they shouldn't get a second chance? Or third or forth? What happened to 70x7?

fairytale...

sometimes... i feel as if i'm living a fairytale. i've had bad times, and i've had good times. but i feel like i'm living a reallly unique fairytale... usually in the darkest times of the whole tale, the princess would be depressed and feeling stuck.

but me... i sit there, in the darkest days... happy. i have such amazing people in my life... it's hard to be down when you've got a lot of great people keeping you up, even if some of them don't know it.

heck, who says i can't live a fairytale? no one ever said fairytales had to be perfect... i mean, think of cinderella! but honestly, when i say i'm living a fairytale... i don't mean everything's always gonna be happy. i don't mean everything's always going to be great. i don't mean everything's going to go right. but i do mean i'm going to make the best of everything and make it a story worth telling... to me, THAT is a fairytale.

fearless...

someone great once said fear is just the absence of faith...

so i guess the more fear i realize i have, the more i realize i have some faith to work on.

fearful-faithless...
fearless-faithful...

i wanna be fearless. ;]

living for real

a facebook quiz got me thinking... what is my biggest goal for this year? that is such a difficult question... but i spent a lot of time in thought and finally decided. my goal is to live... for real. some people go on... just going through the motions (good song... matthew west-the motions), never really living their lives.

but... how do you live for real? i suppose everyone might have a different idea... but for me, living for real is laughing at the little things, enjoying the moments spent with the ones i love, finding a way to have fun when it's not thought possible, loving out loud, taking almost every chance i get to be alive, and not getting brought down by dissapointment. i dunno... just my thoughts on really living. really living isn't living for you... it's living to serve, and love.

it's not always easy... sometimes i want to just do nothing. but then i think... (this may sound conceited, but i mean it in the least conceited way possible) just being there, making a memory with people... it's worth so much more. so much.

so, here's to really living!!

whoo!

the beauty of a storm

as the lightning strikes and thunder rolls, i'm left here in my almost dead-silent house, awake and kind of lonely. the constant pitter-patter of the rain makes me want to grab my bike and ride over to the park... which i can't do, as it's almost midnight.

have you ever gone to the park, and sat on a swing, and just listened? just felt the smallness? every time i go to the park alone, i sit there, feeling so large (heh... i'm quite a few years older than most of the people i usually find there), yet so small at exactly the same time. i look up to the sky, and realize, every single time, how small i really am. i am one of millions and millions of people in this WORLD... and to think that this planet isn't alone... there's OTHER planets, even larger than the one we occupy... there's stars that make the sun look puny. and there's a God.... my God... who CREATED it all... he MADE it! he made ME.

and well, we messed it up. we messed up this perfect world he made for us. but you know... he sent his son to die... as a loop-hole for us. for me. so that we could be with him. because he loves us THAT MUCH. he loves ME that much. because he wants to be with us. with me!

he STILL loves me... after all i've done... after all my sins... he still loves me.

astounds me every time i think about it. leaves me speechless.

about time...

i just figured that i haven't posted in a while and it's probably about time to update.

but i have no idea what to say... i'll figure something out and hopefully make a more-than-useless post.

text messaging.

so popular today... such a great, fast, easy way of communication. i do it all the time! i use about 3000 texts or more a month. but have you ever realized how confusing texting [or iming, emailing, etc.] can be? you can never be totally sure what a person means... if they're using sarcasm, making a joke, or being totally serious. stress tends to result as you wait for the other person to tell you what they meant. it tends to frustrate me...

don't worry. not enough to stop.

the importance of... outer-beauty?

i was just sitting in my dining room listening to the TV that was on in the other room... and a very interesting commercial came on. the words that caught my attention were "inner-beauty is important, but outter-beauty is even more important." make-up commercial. go figure.

what is the world coming to, that inner-beauty would be said less important that outter? i suppose with the magazines that contain airbrushed, unrealistic women, it's been implied that this is what the media is trying to teach us all along. to hear it out loud just adds the icing to the cake.

i suppose the question that i really would like to know is why do we tell ourselves this? sure, it sells the product, but people are actaully believing it. living it. we are so beautiful... even if we don't have the most cooperative, smooth hair; prettiest, sparkliest eyes; thinnest, tannest body. we are made in the image of God. He created us, not to nessicarily look like Him, but to act like Him. live like Him. let Him live and move through us.

we are beautiful people, and it's not because of our physical appearance.

now, i need a pickle.

things worth quoting... ;]

some quotes from extrordinary people and movies...

"God has given us two hands, one to receive with and the other to give with." Billy Graham

"Nothing can bring a real sense of security into the home except true love." Billy Graham

"You're born. You suffer. You die. Fortunately, there's a loophole." Billy Graham

"Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while." Westley in the Princess Bride

"We are men of action, lies do not become us." Westley in the Princess Bride

"You be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted." Fezzick in the Princess Bride

"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something." Westley in the Princess Bride

"And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva..." from Princess Bride

"And-and I look at you, and I... I'm home! Please. I don't want that to go away. I don't want to forget." Dory in Finding Nemo

"What is it with men and asking for directions?" Dory in Finding Nemo

"Don't listen to my sister. She's nuts." Deb in Finding Nemo

"The lies I've told! The lives I've ruined! Wait... this isn't helping me!" Rachet in Robots

"Never try, never fail. Those are the words I live by." Crank in Robots

"Are you sure they aren't laughing *with* me?" Rachet in Robots

"You can shine no matter what you're made of." Bigweld in Robots



;] more to come?

more beautiful you

that is such an amazing song... every time i listen to it, i fall more and more in love with it.

"there could never be a more beautiful you [fall in love with who you are]" wow. that's like what every girl dreams of... and, you know what? it's true. i'm told it every time i straighten my hair, go 'tanning', or try any 'beauty secrets' (yeah, i know. me? sounds like something i would never do... but... i do).

to think... in the eyes of a King... the King of all kings, to be exact.... I am breathtaking... stunning... amazing... full of beauty... perfectly made.

just wow. sit there and soak that in for a lil'bit. ;]

photo editing

i have to say... i love editing photos... especially ones with my friends in them. ;]

this is my most detailed one yet... still working on two more. ;]

blogging rampage

i'm just going blog crazy tonight. ;]

school's out, so doesn't really matter, now does it?

just thought you should check this out...

http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=47e6500ebfc5c5aa3b1e

it's got a cool message that really applies to my life...

and my favorite line... "none of this took God by surprise."

just a thought...

reading back on my last post... i was thinking. no duh, right?

i don't even know where i'm going with this post. if it sounds somewhat... not like me, i'm very delusional... half past midnight... can't help it.

life tends to confuse me. so so so so much.

someone very close to me once told me that she thinks that when i look at myself, i'm looking into a dirty, broken mirror. i totally agree.

but is it just me? i'm pretty sure i'm not alone on this one. there are plenty of girls out there who are my age who think they're fat, or they're ugly... i don't think that. no... i just don't know where others are getting this idea when they say i'm beautiful or smart or fun... i'm not saying i outright disagree, i'm just saying that i don't see it.

wow. in my head, that sounded totally concieted. i hope it didn't sound like that. cuz that's not how i intended it.

okay, so i know God made me beautiful {like he said... we were created in his image}... in fact, i believe he made everyone beautiful. i love noticing that. seeing the beauty in people when they can't see it themselves.

well, i feel like just randomly stopping there. ;] don't know what else to say!

Oh How I'd Love To Be A Benchwarmer

on this lovely, rainy evening, i was enjoying myself, locked up in my room with a huge serving of velveeta mac&cheese and a water bottle full of pink lemonade. and don't forget my laptop...

i spent a good two hours (i get distracted easily... the movie was only about an hour and a half) watching the benchwarmers. great movie. when you set aside the inappropriate moments and some bad language, it has a great message. you don't have to be good at something to have a great time with it. sometimes being good at things stops us from seeing how much fun life can be... if we're too serious about something we think or it as more of something we have to do, when we started out thinking it was something we get to do. hey, maybe that sounds like something a little kid might say ["hey, i get to do the dishes with mom!" or "whoo! i get to do yard work with dad!"]. what happened that made us start thinking in the way that says "i have to do this... and i really don't want to, but i'm going to anyways"? and who are we comparing ourselves to? who says we can't be successful in our own little ways? to me, success is more of a state of mind... maybe you're the worst batter on the team, but you hit a single during a scrimmage. in my mind, that is success. maybe it's like that for other people. maybe it's not.

i was known as the good-little-church-girl. probably still am on occasion. and i started to try to form my life to live like that. i 'got good' at being 'spiritual' and 'praying,' and soon i was thinking "ug. i have to go pray now." did i really have to? no. did i? yes. did i happily and willingly? no. thinking back on it, i don't know how i could even think such stupid thoughts. i guess you live and learn, huh? i'm still working on changing my mind frame to "ooo... i get to go pray to my Wonderful Maker who loves me and listens to me and cares for me!" from "whoop-de-do. i gotta get this over with asap." it's a long, grueling process, but i think it'll pay off in the end.

guess it's just a part of my dance with God. started out having a great time... then it became like class i unwillingly showed up to... changing my mind frame yet again. ;]

Taken For Granted

I've realized how much I take people (like my friends) for granted. It's not until they're gone for just a mere two weeks that you realize how much they mean to you and how much time you spend with them. Starting next week, my life is going to be quite... uneventful. ;) Not that I won't enjoy my time with my other friends, but each one of my friends is special to me, and when one (or two, in this case) is (are) gone, my life is thrown off balance. Usually. Some of my friends live in my brain as well as their houses/my house, so it's like they're always with me. ;)

Friends... they're what keeps me going. I'm so glad God blessed me with such amazing friends that I know will always be there for me.

Rainy Week

It's been an amazing day (such beautiful weather), and I cannot believe I've hardly stepped foot outside yet! All week it's been colder (I thought we were past all that 40 degree weather), and on Monday I went to the varsity baseball game. The wind made the whole thing horrendously cold! My two friends and I were covered in 4 blankets, laying on the ground, trying to watch the game while still staying warm. :) We didn't end up winning, but it was fun to watch. Great game.

Anywho, the wonderful outdoors are calling. God is so amazing... he created ever single blade of grass that the sun is shining so brightly on right now... he created the sun, too! All this beauty; it's stunning.

It's amazing how the simplest things can make or break my day...

Sorry, I haven't blogged in a while. I will a.s.a.p. though! :)

When Hope Is Lost

A poem... by me. :)

The world came crashing down for you that day,

Simplicity fell,

With sorrow it's replaced.

But I'm here for you,

When hope is lost,

When life turns its back on you.
I'll be here,

With open ears

Ready to hear,

Just how life's been treating you.

Eh. Not my best work, not my worst. Inspired by an amazing friend of mine... whom I love dearly. I love all of my friends dearly... ;) This has just not been my week. I've been feeling like I could break down every single day. But God's carrying me along. He's getting me through tomorrow into the days of complete peace and joy. It's a journey, let me tell you, getting to those days. But I'm working. I'm trying hard to get there. I'm so glad I don't have to do it on my own... I couldn't do it on my own. Without God... I'd already have given up. I wouldn't be anywhere near peace and joy. But I've got God.

God is good, all the time.

All the time, God is good.

Life, on the other hand, isn't quite so wonderful.

Welcome To A Good Friend

I've finally helped in causing the wall to break... Byzz started blogging, too! We're probably the only ones who will read each others' blogs, but whatever. It's all good. But anyways, happy blogging to her (wow, I sound like a MAJOR nerd)!


Now, I have other things to be doing... *cough* video editing *cough cough*

HOLD UP! WAIT A MINUTE! PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN IT!
That's Love Addict by Family Force 5, if you didn't know. ;)

So I've decided to try this mobile blogging right now... Just until I get home. Then I'll probably just edit this or delete it. :)

Psalm 46. Great Psalm. Verse 11 says ''Be still and know that I am God...'' That really got me thinking. Be still. Pray with no distractions, no wondering thoughts. Just me and God, me spilling my guts even though he already knows every single little thing thats bothering me and every miniscule thing going on in my life. When have I done that recently? I mean, I spend hours upon hours upon end on the computer or texting, but then when it comes to talking to God and listening to him, I give him 5 minutes at most. Wow. That verse just really got me... Maybe some changes need to be made in me.

Hmm... can't say that I like the mobile blogging much, as I had to copy-and-paste so all the entries were one post. ;) Maybe I'll just use it for short updates on occation.

He Knows How To Make Me Smile

God is... indescribable. There's so many words to describe Him, but the English language is so huge that it'd be impossible to. Watching the sun slowly sink (the time before it teases of leaving and makes its escape), I smile to myself. God knows every thought, every desire of my heart. It's astounding how even though I can't see Him, I have plenty of 'inside jokes' with Him. When I really pray to Him, on even the worst of days, He'll do something that only He could know would make me smile, and I'll remember, "Right, You're God. You know everything I'm feeling right now, and You care. You remember these things about me." God... He's so amazing.

Just one of those moments. ;)

Now Blogging

I'm finally getting serious about blogging... go me! My Stardoll.com, Google.com, and Facebook.com crazes have come to somewhat of a close, and now I'm crazed over Blogspot.com. I've always thought blogging was pretty amazing... I can never think of what to write though, so I've never seriously gotten into it. Recently, I've been trying plenty of new things, and so consistently blogging is adding to that. We'll see if I can do it. Be warned, I tend to ramble about extremely random topics... but it makes sense in my brain. ;)

I'm so excited for the weekend! After a long week of testing, it's nice to have meeting with my English group to work on our project and indoor soccer games to look forward to. But it also means looking forward to a WHOLE lot of editing for the English video... which is due Monday. Homework. Oh joy. The only enjoyable part of homework is doing things I love... such as certain math problems, video editing, and memorizing lines for drama. But then again, I tend to be somewhat nerdy.

It's almost in the 70's! My GoogleDesktop has said it's one degree over the predicted high for the past two days! Such amazing weather, and thankfully a good day today to go along with it. I'm so thankful that I've had my astounding friends to keep me going earlier this week... don't know what I'd do without them. :)