sadness.

a poem i wrote quite a while ago...



and sadness strikes like lightning in a dry, midnight storm.
never saw it coming, but now here you are, watching the fire blaze, wishing it could've been prevented and wondering what you did wrong.

mistakes.

we all make mistakes, right? we go and we mess up... but hey, we're only human. we're gonna mess up, and it's only natural. being forgiving is a great way to be a mistake-maker. (let me explain-that probably sounded contradicting.) i'm not saying that forgiving someone is a mistake. i'm saying that when you forgive someone, you're, in a way, saying that you understand, and you've messed up too. if you sat there being unforgiving of others who've made "worse" mistakes than you, i believe that is a mistake in itself! we have to realize that none of us are perfect. man has fallen away from god. but we must forgive like god forgave us. never cease in forgiving, and just keep pushing through the tough times.

someone once said "if you love something, let it go, and if it comes back, it was meant to be." personally, i hate that quote. to me its kind of like saying "don't forgive this person. if they're meant to be in your life, they'll come crawling back asking for forgiveness." NO! we should be forgiving even before someone appologizes. and we shouldn't be thinking bad thoughts about them before they appologize either! who knows if they will ever appologize... but it's good to just be able to be free and not to be held back by grudges.

now, i'm in no way saying i have even mastered this skill. let me tell you, i have a lot of work to do in this department. but i have an amazing god who i know will be helping me through it.

love.

a little thing i wrote about a year ago... very depressing stage in my life when i didn't believe love was possible.


"i've always loved stories about love. who doesn't? love is something we dream about; something we live for. love is our fantasy; our dream world. but truth be told, searching for love hurts. the thing we always thought of as the cure to all our problems may actually be the cause. think about it- we "love" a cute boy in our middle-school years, after we've gone through years of honestly believeing they had cooties and were from another planet; we "fall in love" during high school and even the beginning of college, if we make it that far; we "find true love" which leads us to marriage. but what of that lasts? how loosely do we use the term "love"? and how do we even find this real, true, authentic love?"


to answer myself, i think that in today's world, the term "love" is used fairly loosely. it really sucks that in the english language we don't really have different words for love like they do in languages such as greek. we'd probably still misuse it, but i think it'd be better than saying "i love propel." then turning around and saying "i love my husband." i also think that we can find this real, true, authentic love by giving it. i'm not nessecarily talking about romantic love, but just love in general. i found the best way to recieve love is just TO love.

i recieved an interesting email today about accepting without judging. it was an amazing story and it really touched me. a great way to show love is doing just that! accepting... how many times to we snicker at the outcast, move (further than we need to) out of the way of someone nobody likes? what if we didn't judge people by what they looked like, but by the content of their heart? and what if we just LOVED people, no matter who they are in society, no matter what they look (or even smell) like, and no matter how different from us they are?


maybe we should take less time trying to be accepted, and just accept people who normally wouldn't be accepted.

shut it.

recently... i've been thinking. yes, thinking. [ouch, you might be thinking... yes. very ouch.] just today, actually, 2 timothy 2:14 was put on my mind... "keep reminding them of these things. warn them before god against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen."

really, to sum up the mess of my brain, i think that this is, in a way, telling us that sometimes we just need to shut it and not instigate an argument. instead of thinking up a come-back to hit our 'foe' with, why not just roll your eyes and let them think what they think instead of creating a huge fight that could tear you apart?

maybe all of us just need a big sign on our foreheads saying "handle with love."


i think it might help us realize we really do need to "handle with love."