He Knows My Soul

Sometimes, I can't help but laugh. God just knows my pleasures. For Christmas, I got a NIV/The Message Parallel Study Bible. This morning, as I finally got the chance to open it up, I looked at the price tag. $45. And as I found a passage I really loved, I took out my pen and underlined it. Oh goodness, does God know what I love. There's just that excitement when my pen marks that freshly printed, never before touched piece of paper. Holy crap. It's just amazing. Especially a piece of paper worth so much. It's like, I have made my mark. And that's just plain satisfying.

Sing My Love.

Words could never say, the way.
He says my name
He calls me lovely
No one ever sees, the way.
He looks at me
He sees me, holy.
Words could never hold, this love that burns my soul
Heaven holds me.
Heaven holds me

I can't hold my love back from you
I can't hold my love back from you
I've gotta sing, I've gotta sing, sing my love.

You would not believe, the way.
He touches me
He burns right through me
And I could not forget, every Word He Said.
He always knew me
The earth could never hold, this love that burns my soul.
Heaven holds me
Heaven holds me

I can't hold my love back from you
I can't hold my love back from you
I've gotta sing, I've gotta sing, sing my love.

I can't hold my praise back from you
I can't hold my praise back from you
I've gotta shout, I've gotta shout, shout my praise.

Oh praise the Lord, praise the Lord.
My soul makes, makes its boast, in the Lord.

Define Music.

Music is a pulse that reflects our everyday living tempo. It affects nearly every aspect of our day-to-day existence. Music is sound ordered in time and time measured by sound. It is a form of communication - its own abstract language - that provokes emotional response and thought. It is not concrete, nor is it ideas by manner of nouns, verbs, or adjectives. Music is organized noise that changes over time to reflect its social and historical context.

two souls.

Music descends upon two souls.
Happiness appears, pure and whole.

A spark of hope lights up the night.
Could this be real? Could this be right?

Stop searching and you just might find
Everything you wanted; a new state of mind.

“True happiness doesn’t come in a bottle, and it can’t be found on glossy magazine pages. Happiness can’t be bought, and it can’t be sold. It’s a feeling you get from some priceless entity, and when you have it…everything makes sense. It’s like your eyes open up for the first time. And even if there are still things in your life that leave you feeling unsatisfied, that happiness that finds its way into your life—it makes that lack of satisfaction seem insignificant.” They Sang Hallelujah

One Day...

"You just have to take some time for yourself to be alone with God. He wants what’s best for you, but that doesn’t always mean everything’s going to be perfect. You just have to know that what you’re going through now will essentially be beneficial. Maybe you won’t see that today, tomorrow, or the next day…but one day, you will. And when that day comes, you’ll find peace." -sj (sjc11.tumblr.com)

life is life.

I sit at a loss. A loss of words to say, a loss of emotions to feel, a loss of thoughts to think, and a loss of understanding.

I don't know if I'll ever understand why each of us goes through the things we do in life. Even if I try my hardest, I'll end up further back than where I started. Life is kind of an incomprehensible thing. It's not really meant to be understood. Which is probably a good thing, because I guess that means I'm doing one thing right. Yet it won't feel like that. When my world seems to crumble and I can't figure out why these things keep happening, why my heart keeps holding on, why my head keeps reminding and playing tricks on me, why people walk out of my life, or why I feel so alone, it doesn't feel right. I feel like I must be doing everything wrong. That's the only logical explanation, right? Why wouldn't it be?

Someone recently said to me, "if you can't fix it, it's not your problem." At first, it seemed super helpful. It was like a light bulb went on. Then, as I continued to think about it, I realized that it's not that simple. First off, how do you even begin to understand if you can or cannot fix it? Sometimes you don't know if you're at fault or if it's your actions that are causing these reactions. Sometimes, it's just not something you can figure out. Second, what if it is my problem? Maybe I have a disease that will eventually kill me - I can't fix that, but does that mean it isn't my problem? Maybe my friends are distancing themselves from me with no told explanation - I don't know how I'd fix that, but they're still my friends and it's still my problem. Thirdly, what if you can fix it, you just aren't sure how? I know I've been in that situation multiple times, even to this day. And I don't get it.

I don't get life.
I don't get love.
I don't get myself.
I just don't get it.

I guess, in the words of a young friend, "life is life."